fireflies.

RECENT ENTRIES

Entry title: silent is golden?
Date / Time : Saturday, May 30, 2009 / 8:27 AM

I've said to post lots of emo post on my blog recently.. and most of my friends that read it ask why.. sometimes, i just feel tht letting out in words literally is much more better verbally. its not wrong to say tht i really have mental break down recently.. but again.. i dont know why..yes, i admit tht i tend to stay silent alot..i prefer to think alone, act alone, and cry alone..maybe thts wat happen when u become too strong, u'll never let anyone know how u feel, preferably..let everyone think tht u're doing ok. Everyone in this world lived for a reason, at least i believe tht its true. i've always wonder wat will happen if im not in this world anymore.. will it be a better place? or will it feel my absence? well, dont worry, im not going to commit suicide.. just i feel disgust when i need someone by my side.. i feel weak.. i feel useless..is it wat will happen when u're to strong? i wish there would be someone there to let me know its ok to be vulnerable.. but everytime i wanted to tell anyone my feelings, silent is the only word tht i could think of.. in a way, its good tht no one knows ur secret.. but in contrast, its hurt when the person u love dont even know wat happen to u.. silent? really golden?

Entry title: despair
Date / Time : Friday, May 29, 2009 / 9:34 AM

What exactly do i want?
i cant even know wat exactly i want..
im really begining to despise myself..

i think i need to be alone to think it off

Entry title: Desire..
Date / Time : Wednesday, May 27, 2009 / 9:06 AM

I wish i could go for a holiday alone..

i wish someone really care for me to hug me as tight as he /she could...

i wish those things tht i dont wrong can me forgiven..

i wish i could be someone better..

i wish i could turn the time back..

I wish someone would give me a tight slap and say u idiot~!!

i wish for a thousand things to come true...

but the only thing that i dont wish for is to be happy..

because i know i never would be~

Entry title: the naive me~
Date / Time : Tuesday, May 26, 2009 / 8:23 AM

In the past, i blame god for not giving me happiness...
Now, i hate myself because i have too much of it..
when all the happiness is taken back... it kills u more cruelly than u expected..
No one willl know until they themselve experience it..
and now i've experienced it.
There is no word tht can describe the feelings..
Its the feeling tht i will never forget all my life..
A feeling tht willl let me despise myself..
however, i pray to god tht he will help me go through this, just help me this once will be more than enough.
i really really need someone~

Entry title: happy birthday my dear!
Date / Time : Saturday, May 9, 2009 / 4:57 AM

I've finally recover from the terrible flu i had... Last wednesday was my dear's birthday.. so.. i've plan a surpise for him.. just to wish him happy birthday...

These are some photos of the surprise i've prepared for him..

Although the sushi that i've learn from my working friends wasnt tht pretty(due to some rice problem..) but.. hope its still ok la.. hehe.. happy birthday.. may all ur wishes come true..

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