I admit, im someone who loves attention, good praises and many many more. But who on earth doesnt love that? Im always seeking for more and not being contented with what i have, and i like to think that i have a really hard life compared to most of my classmate. After everything that has happen to me these 2 years, im starting to realise that there is nothing in this world which is perfect.

I may not have a perfect family. Istead, its a half broken one, but i will be always there to the the guardian angel of my parents, someone they can rely on one day. dont care how they look at me, how they treat me.. cause i really believe that one day they could understand me and accept who i truly are. my mum always being supportive, and try her best to give everything that i wanted, my friend, my sister, my mum, my soul, and my everthing. She will be the person i love the most. and my dad, a man who is willing to go turn back to his family, the man who sacrifice his time to brought us up.

My studies, not very good nor bad. just an average one for a form 6 student. i had always think that study wasnt a hard thing at all. but nw, its really different. for the very first time, im really stress out because of sudies, tried everything to get good results, although my results are still terrible. I really wish u could get the resuts i wanted, just to be a gift or present to my parents, plus not letting those ppl who supported me all this while down. yes, i can say that i fail to do so this year. The fear of disappointment is getting stronger everday. i do blame on the decision that i made to stay in science stream sometimes, but, itsmy decision, i will have to pay great responsibility on it. i cannot collapse, cannot give up just have to do watever i can and pray.

Friends, they are always around me, im quite unhappy in the beginning because i feel that im not in par wih them. i realise now, there are no border line between friends using intelligence, everydody is good in their own ways. they will only be ur enemy if u want them to be, Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say. i guess thats true enough for me.. how about u?

love. well, obviously, its a really complcated thing. no one in this earth is be able to say why we would fall in love with a particular person. those who are coupling, im sure u will ask urself why did u fall in love withXXX but the answer is always...'who know's' and does it matter? No. i have once say that to love is to sacrifice unconditionally, mm.. i think its only correct if ur partner do think the same. I agree to my friends saying that im loved by someone who treats me so good. i should be happy, contented, thinking of him.. instead, i felt the type of loneliness in me which i could not explain to anyone, including myself!! Now i finally know why, its because i want myself to think so. No matter how he treats me, i will feel nothing and eventually feel inconteted and lonely, is it the fear for being abandoned once more? i do not know. im trying, just like a little bird learn to fly. and ya, i finally get have the first flab of my wings, and feel the freedom and happiness that has been with me all the time. In the past, i have block my eyes with my mind. but now, i have open is with my heart. It is a hard and painful process, im glad, i've when through it. i learn to think, to be contented, to be more matured, to realise, to admit and to promise. Something that bring me back to life. to who im supposed to be.... Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. Im that kind of person. but i learn, very hard, and i succeed. In short of the complicated relationship, "Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another.