Entry title: The One Who Brought Me Up~
Date / Time : Sunday, October 19, 2008 / 8:13 AM
she was only 18 when she gave birth to her first child. Bearing the resposility to take care of a yong baby and a not very cconsiderate husband at that time was quite a misery for a young woman like her.But she was determined to walk through the life she had choosen. Patience and love was her only piriority to her baby and husband. she hope and opt for a better future. She tried her best to give as much as she could to give the best to her children. Both her daughter married young. Now, she just yearn to take a look at her grandchild. However, something was blocking a close relationship with her daughters. No matter what, she still love them more than anyone else. i see her tears rolled down form her cheek, disapponted by the fake promises that her daughter had made b4 marriage. She had the determination for nearly 30 years and sacrifice for her family. Never once to neglect her family. But in return, no one could understnd her well enough and give her the love and attention she always wanted. On 19th of october, i saw it. I saw everything through her eyes, the love, patient, sacrifice, determination, just everything! she had done for this family. I know why she had been to naggy all this while, so intollerance on certain things, so stubborn. its all because of love. ya.. the same old phrase, its all because of us. Now i know how many times i has cause misery for her. no matter wat happen, she was always there for me. giving me the right responsility, the right advice, the right opinion... my guardian angel...
i went with her to Singapore for sorta dress hunting spree. She wanted to get me my dress for the dinner so much. We went there at about 9 and reach around 12. Then we first stop at a shop near the market, she said there was a dress there which is quite nice and wanted me to try it out. Well, honestly, i dont think its ok for me.. but since she said its nice, i tried it on. Its looks quite ok.. but im not really in that type of drss and its not really fit..She looks really disappointed when i said i dont like. and ya, that really made me guilty. later on, she took me over to Orchard Road. ..mm.. its really expensive lor actually, so, i only opt for one dress and a pair of high heels. we went straight to daniel yau butik. mm.. tried on a few one. then i made the decision to take the white one. At the counter, " why dont u take bith the dress, it look really nice on you" I said, " crazy ah,. so expensive, u convert and see~~" PIak!! she beat me~ "who ask u to convert oh? buy for u also dont want!!" then i was like, so many question mark on my head, mm.. since when its bad to save some money? then she said just take both. she then bring me to another session, ask me to try again and buy again, than go for shoe, than bought again. my heart was bleeding. I had never spend so much in my life. so so so much. she keep asking me to buy but after that i just said no to everything!!! i said enough is enough, im not going to buy anything.!! she just smile and said, as long u like and happy, then everything is worth it. i was so so so so so so so X!10000000zillion times guilty~then we rush to the train station and i head home. on the train~ i really could not bear anymore and cry~!.. ish, i keep hiding my face... haha.. so embarrase. i cry because i have seen my mum suffer so much, i cry because i really spend so much money and really guilty about it.. Kinda a stupid and foolish. But after u know wat i have went through with my mum, i dont think anyone will feel thats foolish. At last, i sms her and say if im not fillial to u next time, remember to give me a slap and kill me. i dont want to be one of those who hurt her. i love her. without her, i'll never be who i am now. i couldnt express how gratefull i am to her,.. just wish that she could be happy to have me... and wish she could be healthy always.. a post dedicated to her. The One Who Brought Me Up.
