Entry title: ThE HarDest PoInt~
Date / Time : Wednesday, September 10, 2008 / 6:32 AM
Happy momments in class... reallly miss those days when Khairil is around.. Really FuN!!
Well, as all form 6 student know, we are having quite a tough week.. struggling with our so called important trial exam...honestly, i take it very seriously this time.. but as usual... i start to get panic towards the end of my preparation and lose focus on it..when i took the first paper (pa 2) i nearly left out one essay due insufficient time.. that is the first time happened to me.. and dont want to have the second time anymore.. it really freaks me out.. then tuesday,first paper pa 1, it was harder than i thought, the answers seems to be quite close thus makingt the abcd chioce seems useless.. but well, i still get on with it.. then comes chemistry paper 1, oh my gosh, i really dont know what im doing.. despite the fact that im reading abd studying it for so so long.. at last its all useless, i was disappointed.. it get even worse when i heard someone saying that it wasnt very tuff ( but i thought it was) and i start to think what is the mistake i have made... conclusion- im really a science idiot...
At night, the stupid yet conscious me cry burst out of tears and feel that i have let my family down, especially my mum, she work very hard for us and yet i did so terribly in my exam, and the worse part is, she called me and ask me to relax myself and take more rest. She even say that academic is not everything, and i just need to try my best in it and leave everthing to god... OMG.. im really touch plus sososo guilty...i was hoping her to scold me.. at least i can feel better.. but istead,.. she gave me whole lots of moral support.. gosh.. if i dont do well in my stpm.. really dont know how she would feel.. i guess i will need to work alot harder from now on..]
After everything that i have gone through, i realise that the hardest point in life is not to give up or hangging on something, but its the point between giving up and hanging on.. We often think of giving up is the best resort to a problem, past, efficient and problem free.. and when u hang on, it will be long, tough, and more problems coming in.. and yesterday, im in the point in between of it and im trying to choose in between both of it. it was really tough.. Harder than i thought.. that was the first time i dont have anyone to turn to and the decision is all on me..
Yup, tough enough, i thought.. i've been struggling for so long and for nothing?... NONONO.. not going to let that happen.. hang on there jolene... just hang on a little while longer.. two more months .. and im so going to make use of this two months..
As usual, aching body, tired mind, and bad headache, still manage to get myself up at 4 am.. studied and do housework.. ehm.. as i expected, i flung my chemistry paper today.. well, what to say.. haih.. never mind la... its not stpm ( consoling myself) haha.. at least i can still put a smile in my face la.. for bad or good.. life had to go on.. i'll just have to make things best out of the things i have.
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